Feelings

 

 

 

 

 

I used to feel like this and from this, it is.....

 

 

 

now like this :)

What If

I love this song so much.....

To Surain...What if ?

..........

I WISH I COULD WRITE MY DISSERTATION EASILY LIKE HOW I WRITE MY BLOG !!!!

                                                *bANG hEad AGaisNT tHE wALL *

Love Struck !

When you are so focus on something for instance, studies, career, dreams and life, there is just something else that divert your focus from all the things above. I would not say it is a distraction, well it can be either a beautiful or fugly distraction. I've been distracted a lot in life by boys....Yes! Boys... Idiots ! However it depended on how much of an impact the person had on me. I've been there, done that, therefore i pretty much don't want to experience it all over again. Why? Because it is such a long process, you get attracted to someone, you fall in love, the person plays you out, you feel like dying, you can't focus, you try to move on... and everything that revolves around the brain an life is Die Die Die. Hu Hu. Long long process.

But something else happened recently. Yes !  'That something else' is kind of distracting me. Wait! I have not finished..... I would say that it is a beautiful distraction !! Honest honest confession, I have not felt this way for such a longggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time. Yes people, 4 years plus !! That's like super duper long. I am trying to set a record for being single in the longest time, well i actually have set it-personal record. I used to be 'left' single only for like not more than 4 months. Not in terms of relationship but it's a crush thing, I like you, You like me... muhahhahahaha. Silly ! But this particular person has a mission to break my record! hahhaha. He asked me out on a date, fell in love with me, and got me extremely confused and at times i feel like slapping him. haha. I can't believe I'm saying this but i undoubtly have fallen in love with him. Oh God ! Never expected this in a million years. *Shoot myself*

Yes I am In Love ! OMG !!

To be Continued...... <3 font="font">

A Cry For Help

Everything is just so negative ! Things are not looking good. I'm not getting what i really want in life. Dreams are shattered, heart is broken. I have not slept well these days and i feel very lonely, weak and just feel everything is over for me. I thought i have found love, but NO! I thought i could go somewhere and start my future there, but NO! I thought everything would be just fine, but NO! I'm extremely sad and I'm exhausted just living with all these problems. I'm trying my level best to overcome this but somehow I just feel like my problems are eating me up. Oh help me, God help me !

~Now There's Only Me and The Lonely ~

I'm A Living Being With A Heart

Once again, my heart is broken by some guy who so called loved me. He came into my life, gave me all kinds of hopes and promises and just left me. I managed to contact him and all he could say is we are from 2 different worlds, it's not happening for him. So WHY Did you actually give me hopes, promises and all those attention i needed? WHY! Are you some kind of a heartless person? Do you call yourself a man? NO! you're not a man ! Stop breaking my heart guys if you love me..Love is not a game and I'm not your toy !!!!!!!!! What goes around comes around..watch out you heartless men out there !

.................<<<<<>>>>.................

I'M AFRAID TO LOVE AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Lonely Part 3

Why do i have so many admirers? And people think that it's nice? Yeah right! I rather live without admirers. I still feel so lonely despite having a lot of admirers. What do i exactly get from all these guys? They come, make me fall in love with them, confuse me, and then leave and hurt me. Life would be much easier without them.

He came into my life, made me fall in love with him and now he disappears.

The Lonely Part 2

Where do i begin? .....................
I feel so lonely................
I'm hurt ....................
Crying off my face again...............
The slient sound of loneliness......
I'm the ghost of a girl I want to be the most...............
Where there once was love..................
Now there's only me.............
And The Lonely .

The Lonely

The Lonely- Love this song from Christina Perri. It describes how i feel especially right now.

2 a.m., where do I begin?
Crying off my face again
The silent sounds of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in to take my heart again

Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me 'til I fall asleep

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in to take my heart again

Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely

Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in to take my heart again

Present vs Past

Life so far has been great. No problems! All thanks to me for being a strong person. I'm now always looking at things in a very positive way. Goods things are coming, i could sense that. Family, studies are great. Love? Well, i've set a record for being single for more than 2 years. Of course i'm not even sad about it. Guys are not my priority. But i must say that i do feel lonely at times. It doesn't affect my life though. Although i'm not searching for love, i find it fun to get to know guys who want to get to know me. Among all, two guys have attracted me in a very different way. I'm therefore confused. To be honest, i'm afraid! Afraid to get my heartbroken. Really really fear of that. This is all because of my past relationship. I was abused and was tested in every way. I have to admit that i nearly gone mad and thinking of suicide. That guy whom i thought really loved me was just using me. He played with my heart, he cheated, lied, slept around, always getting drunk, and abused me mentally, emotionally and physically. Well, i'm very glad that everything is over. He's dead to me. God will punish him definitely ! I'm all good now- a person who is always smiling and loving life. Thank you God !

THE CLIMB

I love this song damn much. It always brings tears to my eyes.

I can almost see it,

That dream I'm dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes 'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But, No, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And, I, I got to be Strong
Just Keep pushing

Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's The Climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith

Quotes

I went to a bookstore and was reading a book with all these wonderful love quotes. These are some of the quotes:

~ If you see the one you love suffer, you should be the first to come to their aid. This is love.
If you don't help them, you don't love them. Love rectifies all mistakes

~If your love can't overcome any hardship, what sort of love is that?

~He who loves has no doubt

~One who loves must sacrifice a part of themselves. One who sacrifices intellectually is a
true person, a person of love

~If love weakens life, it's a weak love. If love makes life stronger, it's a strong love

10,000 Promises

I love this song so much, it's from the Backstreet Boys. It's an unreleased track from their second album. The lyrics are so meaningful to me and that's why I'm posting the lyrics.


Once we were lovers just lovers we were oh what a lie, Once we were dreamers just dreamers we were oh you and i, Now i see you're just somebody who wasted all my time and money, what a lie you and i. What about your, your 10,000 promises that you gave to me, your 10,000 promises that you promised me. Once i could handle the truth when the truth was you and i, but time after time all the promises turned out to be all lies, now i see I'm just somebody who wasted my time and money, what a lie oh you and i. what about your, your 10,000 promises that you gave to me, your 10,000 promises that you promised me. You say "I'll take you back" but i close the door coz i don't want 10,000 more.

~Once we were lovers just lovers we were oh you and i, what a lie.~

I got CIRCUS, do you?

Last Thursday , 4th December went to the mall to get Britney's new album*CIRCUS*. I was all excited and part of me was worried that i wouldn't get the album. I was one day late! That wasn't good. Bad Sheena.:(. Well went to Speedy, was f inding for the album, i didn't even see one so i asked the shop girl. She said it has finished. Damn! I was impressed though with the album sale, just a day late after its released and there was no stock. So i went to another store..i opened my eyes big as i entered the store. My eyes caught* CIRCUS* ! Let's just say, our eyes met (Sheena's and Britney's) lolz. I grabbed it, went to the counter and asked the cashier how many more stock left, he said 2. Impressive !! I was all smile. Then went for some window shopping. Tried finding the heels that i wanted but couldn't get them :( ...went to my car and put on *CIRCUS*, turned up the volume and began to shake my body and head. ha ha. I had goosebumps and tears were in my eyes because i missed Britney so much and to hear her being fantastic again was everything to me. Unfortunately my 3 other favourite songs aren't in the CD. Only the lucky British and Japanese have the songs. Their *CIRCUS* edition is different from ours. No Amnesia, no Quicksand, no Trouble. But i totally love Phonography, and Unusual You. Great songs. Phonography is a very sexy song. It's about you and your loved one having an intimate conversation on the phone. You can make love to it. lolz. Whereas Unusual You, is like sensual...it's sexy. For the first time i listened to it, i cried! I thought of my ex..firstly because the song is so nice that made me wanna be in his arms, it reminded me of our romantic moments, and the lyrics saying that "baby you're so unusual, didn't anyone tell you're supposed to break my heart, i expect you to." I love all of the songs from the album and the other 3 which are not in the album :( . I listen to *CIRCUS* everyday and in a day about 10 times..hahah ! Love Britney !!!!!

I can't make heads or tails of my life !!

Last week was kind of a bad week for me..precisely every week is. My so called close friend messaged me saying that her birthday party will be on the 27th. Whatever! The silly thing is she was too excited and trying to get me into the excitement. Nonsense ! Can she see what I'm going through. People are selfish, they use you when they need you and this is an example here. Why should i share her happiness? None of my business. When i needed her, she wasn't even there. I broke up with my ex and was badly hurt by that, and she didn't even care. Suddenly out of nowhere she messaged me to inform that her birthday bash is coming. She kept talking about the decoration, what Saree she wants to wear, what shoes to buy. OMG !! Annoying ! I don't even care a bit. I won't be going to the party for sure. Another person who makes me sick is my sister. I don't know how to say how hurt and angry i am that these people who live with me don't even care about my feelings. I also spilled out my deepest secret because i was too angry and hurt. I regret letting the cat out of the bag. Only me ex knows about it. At times, when you're sad, you just wanna go out and feel good about yourself but whenever i ask my sis out, she would have all her excuses ready. I was too sick of her excuses and begun to argue. She hates my ex. When i was with my bf, she told him to break up with me. Can you imagine, your own sis telling the only one you love that? It was like being stabbed with a knife. It was shocking! People think our relationship was not serious and it was only puppy love. Bullshit! They will never know how much we loved each other and had gone through so much together. Straight from my heart, i really hate my sis..better not to have one. She's selfish and heartless. If you hate whom i love, i don't give a damn, it's my feelings that matter in my relationship. Not yours people, just get a life!! My sis thinks her bf is so smart, so good..yeah right..she doesn't know guys because this is only her first love ever. When i broke up with me ex, i kept it inside..don't blame me. Who should i talk to? My sis? My friends? HA HA. They even liked me breaking up with him. They are happy for me for that reason. I swear to God, i don't bless her relationship, don't give a damn about her so called good bf, don't give a damn about her. She does nothing for me, selfish !! I remember i used to help her a lot getting through her relationship. She even came crying to me...i did everything i could. But when it comes to me, she ignores my feelings completely. She was angry that i told my ex bf about our personal problem. Yeah, besides him, who can i talk to? He was the closest person to me, still is..he's my best friend. He understands how i feel, he cares and he's always there for me. No one else. First time i met a person whom i can trust and tell everything i want to him. And I'm glad i found him because i would be talking to myself and the wall. I hate whenever people talk bad about the person i love, just can't stand it...i will always defend him. You don't know him, i know him. I was surprised myself that he actually has a heart of gold. I know he was like this bad kind of guy but he's totally changed. You know why? Because i was the one who changed him, i was with him for 2 years, i know how he was. No matter how much i got hurt by him, i never hate him, never! And in my life, the happiest times were when i was with him. Now, no one makes me happy, my life is so dull. I laugh and smile less. And i got no interest in life. I hate everything, my close friends, my sis-everything!! Now i must know which side my bread is buttered on. I can't think about people anymore, i must be selfish and i just don't care whatever outcomes i will get. I have to break the mould for my own good.

Messed Up

Nothing much, just hate everything that is happening to me !!

I LOVE BRITNEY JEAN SPEARS !!

I'm just so excited with everything that is going on with Britney. Everyday, i will just sit for hours in front of the pc to watch her videos, read the news, look at her photos and just go through her website and these just put a smile on my face and bring tears to my eyes. I just love her to death, she's amazing overall. She's my inspiration, what i went through was really hard but Britney made me strong and i just look up to her every single day of my life.. Think i'm crazy, but i feel she's like my sister. Although she's not right beside me i still think that she is the one who makes me happy. I didn't have anyone to talk to, not even to my sister..everyone was ignoring and abandoning me. Thank God, i have Britney. She was there for me.. and whenever i read about her and look at her, i would tell myself why i'm still living in the past? Look at Briney, she's getting her life back on track. I really love her and i don't give a damn if you hate her and talk bad about her..all bullshit ! Only her true fans know her and would be there for her. Britney is going nowhere, you see her everywhere, she's an icon. Deal with it world !! I love Briney Spears ! BRITNEY RULES MY WORLD !!!!!
BRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRITNEYRULESBRIT

Madagascar 2

Movie was at 8;15 pm. Went with my mom. I just couldn't wait for the movie to start. Then it started..first it was kind of sad where it showed Alex the tiger was young and some hunters took him away. Then came the funny parts and we all started laughing...the whole cinema was laughing non stop. I enjoyed the movie so much and it made my day. My mom too, enjoyed it. Go and watch the movie, it's good especially for people who are depressed. ~I like to move it move it ~ lolzzzz

It Hurts

I stopped by SPCA Malacca to pay a visit to the animals. I went to the cats' area. Some looked sick. It was really sad seeing them in that condition. The condition of The SPCA Malacca is really really bad. So I urge people to help us. Please Donate and become a volunteer !!People should go there and see how these animals are suffering..Anyway, I went there and this cat came to me and sat near me. And when i looked at it, It didn't have a leg..this cat had been hit by a car and was left there at the SPCA.. people are just so cruel. But it was beautiful, a pretty cat i'd say. It loved the attention.. kept following me everywhere i went. I was looking at every angle of the SPCA and suddenly i saw a kitten dying. It was in a cage with its mother. I was like oh shit, this is not happening. I saw how it suffered and i was standing there crying badly and cursing and swearing GOD for making it suffer .. I was angry and sad. And i just left that place..but i kept thinking about that kitten. May GOD bless its soul~